Sprint 2, starting today!

So, I've just finished my sprint 1, which consisted of 2 weeks focusing on my mental motivation, self beliefs, and stopping seeing myself as somebody who gives up etc..
I think that I am now convinced I can do this, without quitting once the boredom sets in. there is no reason for boredom to set in as I will keep varying my diet, trying new recipes etc. And let's face it, staying off sugar is reallly reducing cravings completely. weirdly I had a real sugar craving yesterday, I think it was to do with tiredness so I simply left the kitchen and did something completely different, such as tidying up in the house or something to get my mind off eating. and it worked!
Now, about the no-wine rule, I must say I did not follow it on Saturday evening after the school fete. We were invited to a BBQ, I was quite tired from a day on my feet since 8am so I decided that, as I'm not an alcoholic, I can allow myself one evening off, knowing it would be very easy to stay off again until the 6th July. I felt a bit hungover yesterday but not sure if it was really that, or my cold starting to bother me. I'm off sick today because of my cold. I woke up with a blocked nose, a headache, a sore throat this morning so decided I'd better get better in 1 day rather than feeling miserable in the office and not be productive at all..

The problem is I feel very guilty for it, I don't know what it is, I am hating being so totally useless, I can't help feeling guilty for being in bed while everybody else is working. It must be because I'm not exactly on my death bed.. aarrhh! Stupid guilt.
Other things are bothering me, I have not heard from my parents since the floods in Calgary so I'm wondering how they are, my brother is also not responding to my calls and I have been told he's a bit depressed at the moment. So, all the people I love around me are not doing great, which I am feeling too...

Not sure how to go about this, I guess I have to be patient and trust that this will pass and get better.

About my sprint 1: I have just spent 2 weeks gorging myself on motivational and inspiring images of weight loss, fitness, quotes etc...
some of my favourites are: Sweat is fat crying - Haha!!; Do not reward yourself with food. you're not a dog. how brilliant is that!!
What do you want? A donut or a firm butt?
It's called a workout because it requires effort. without work it is just an easy out

This kind of message really reminds me what I am doing this for, and that if I don';t give up I will get there.
Even last week I started wearing clothes I had not worn yet: my white trousers. It was so exhilarating to wear them (size 14, bought in winter before I could wear them) and I surprised myself with a random thought: I told myself "I will miss this exhilarating feeling of losing weight and getting fit when I'm at my goal". So, that's one of the tihngs that has been stopping me then!?! that was quite a revelation and I think it will help me greatly as I will simply need to give myself new goals each time I reach a nice stage, ie wearing sleeveless tops, or doing something amazing at sports such as doing a handball match full length without feeling dead at the end..

Today is the beginning of sprint 2 and I'm going to make it my arms sprint: I will do an arm workout every day, even if it is only 5 minutes. I have bought a bingo wing blaster DVD, which is quite good, so I can mix up the workouts in the next 2 weeks.
After that it will be our holidays and then my French crew coming to London so I could base my sprint around how I deal with this kind of challenge.

Day 79!

Oh, things are changing, big time! Not only am I still off sugar, very successfully even, but I also have stopped drinking alcohol, and will stay like this until our holiday which starts on 6th July.
I did say I was having more wine because of the sugar content and I can see that this is stopping me from losing weight. My knee injury is preventing me from running, which does not let me burn off as much as I normally would. therefore, something's got to give to help me achieve my results.
I have also made a decision on my plan of action: I really need to work on my own beliefs my trust in myself. So I am now spending 2 weeks just focusing on my belief, reminding myself every day that I can do that, that several failures don't mean that I can't do it, quite the opposite, I am learning from my past failures and I will make it this time.
I have surrounded myself with inspirational quotes at home now, I have put them on walls, cupboards, mirrors etc.
one of the most hilarious ones was:
Do not reward yourself with food. You're not a dog!
Love it!!!
I will do that for another week then I will move on to something else to focus on, it might be a certain type of exercise, or learning more about nutrition, or drinking over 2 litres per day etc...

over 2 months!

Hello blog, I'm back! it;s been over 2 months, and living without sugary food has been quite easy, apart from the fact that I have kinda succumbed to cravings with wine so now I don't allow myself to drink wine until Friday evenings. I don't particularly crave the alcohol but the sugar and I know that if I don't keep an eye on it it will soon be the alcohol I need.. :-(
And who wants to replace one addiction with another? If I am going to be addicted to something I'd rather it was exercise.
So, exercise, almost an addiction, some days at least. I have started swimming again, and I try to go to yoga once a week but it doesn't always work out with meetings. I'm pleased, the last week I have had 3 sport sessions, 2 swimming and 1 yoga. and it definitely helps my knee injury. Something I need to do more of as well is to visualise myself once I have reached my goal, my ideal weight, or size, or body fat level.
Writing will also help I hope.
I went to my zest for life meeting yesterday and we talked about exercise. Of course exercise is not a problem for me as I love it but talking about different types of exercise has made me remember I had planned, a while back, that I wanted to try one new sport per month for 10 months.
so, what will they be:
1) Ballet in June
2) Rock climbing
3) Cross country skiing
4) Netball
5) Ceroc (go when the kids are in France, go with Ermias)
6) Windsurf?
7) Waterskiing?
8) Bollywood dance
9)Brazilian samba, @ Pineapple studios
10)modern jazz?

29 days, starting to feel normal..

..Well, not really.. I had to help the kids bake jam tarts and it was HELL! AND had to make pancakes this morning, arrgghhh that was hard. But, as usual, my keyword "Bikini" helped me stay on track and remember what really matters. When I start to feel a little (very?) deprived I just ask myself "what is more important? how I feel and look, or how much sweet stuff I taste and enjoy?" No need to say more, it's obvious and so far I have done pretty well. Weekdays are pretty easy, but week-ends not so much.
Tomorrow will be day 30 and my reward, as per my list, will be to buy myself a new top. I am even starting to feel a bit looser in my tops, not much but I can see my belly going down, what a relief..
I am going to stop typing, crisis at home, I'm surprised I'm not off the wagon given the atmosphere with the kids right now...

Day 14: Will I ever see results??

OK, I am feeling sorry for myself at the moment. Work is hectic, my clothes are NOT getting any looser, quite the opposite, my bra is so tight today I'm wondering how much back fat I am producing.
I can tell I'm not breating properly, I have shallow breathing, I tend to panic a bit when I think of all I have to do.
And yet, I'm here, blogging, not doing the work, but I cannot not do it, I need to let some steam off a bit.
OK, what is worrying me:
I am not losing weight, even putting it on
I have so much on, I can't seem to cope

I think that sums it up, really.
so, the weight thing: if I coach myself, the obvious question is "what is really worrying you for the future?"
I guess I'm wondering if it is ever going to happen. And the answer is yes, of course it's got to happen, I need to give myself a bit of time and have faith, and, most importantly, not beat myself up.
I'm convinced that my body will get used to having no sugar and I will naturally eat less carbs and GL. until now, for week 2, I was mainly focusing on the no-sugar and trying to reduce the GLs. We are now in week 3, so is it time to start counting GLs again? Probably, yes, that might even help. That will also prepare me better for my Zest for life meeting next week. I don't want to give up Zest for life, I like that forum where I can share experiences with other women trying to achieve similar goals etc. that gives me the support network I need.
Writing helps a lot when I feel so out of control.

I think I need to listen to my body more, drink more water and herbal tea to avoid eating when I am actually thirsty.
Phew that feels better, now I'm ready to do some work!

Day 11: evening craving!!

God I'm in a bad mood this evening, I was cranky with the kids, and I'm sure it's because I could murder for sugar tonight!!!
The apple compote (sugar free, apart from the natural sugar) helped, I had a couple of glasses of wine but I feel frustrated. The good news is that I didn't, at any point, question whether I was going to break my promise.
What didn't help, also, was wearing tight trousers all day. I felt really disheartened to have tried so hard for over 10 days and to feel even fatter than normal..
I am not going to beat myself up it will take the time it needs to take I just need to keep the GLs down as much as I can, I have reduced this week compared to last week so I'm definitely heading in the right direction. It will be all right in the end!

day 7: Yess!

First things first: big pat on my back! I have done 7 days, I do feel I have achieved my first milestone. I was not planning to be strict with my refined carbs, just sugar in sweet stuff. And it has worked (Ok, day 1, Saturday, was my birthday so I did have a few cocktails but no dessert so I will not be that tough on myself!).
So, this week has gone well, it wasn't too hard, except for the regular 3pm sugar craving and of course a WHOLE day on my own in the house, working from home. Usually my working from home days turn into a big sugary feast throughout the day, involving a quick spot of baking if needed.
I was sort of dreading Thursday as I knew it was a huge hurdle to go through. I decided to do some savoury baking to help me through this. And it was way too much! I made myself cheese and ham waffles, and I think I OD'ed on flour, basically.. It was not pleasant.
Today, I had cravings again, and I made myself macaroni and cheese (with chorizo). It was rather gross, the horrible feeling afterwards was not worth the carb attack.
So, I am absolutely not beating myself up, no way, I knew I couldn't do it all on week 1 but this time I want to review my carb intake so the cravings decrease too.
My plan is to make a meal plan for the week tomorrow, use the low GL cookbook and to contact my coach at Zest for life to confirm I will keep coming to the meetings.

I also want to start pictures of myself every 2 or 3 weeks, to monitor my physical changes.
Oh, I was going to forget: I'm starting Pilates tomorrow and I'm actually quite excited to think that I am going to really look after my body with this exercise. My knees and my back will thank me for it one day!